A broken woman finds an unusual source of companionship in the shape of an ugly fish she bought from the market. Image generated with OpenAI Ahimsa Fiorskaya wanted nothing to do with people, because they lied - or chose not to tell the truth. They greeted her during the coldest, dreariest mornings, telling her how delightful the weather was and that she should stroll in the warm sunshine and bring color to her pallid cheeks. Or, they looked forward to dancing with her at the village festival though she could hardly walk, let alone dance because her right leg suffered damage at an early age. Even worse, they assured her that a handsome prince from a faraway land would arrive in the village and sweep her off her good foot. I am done with all of it, she thought. I will not waste my time listening to their nonsense. One day, the lonely woman, who lived on the banks of the Rushing River in the village of Sazloni, walked into the local fish market. As she eyed the large select...
A married couple are eager to start a family, but what will it take? Image generated with OpenAI There's a new billboard up on the Turnpike. "Your Mommy Makeover Awaits!" it announces. "Liposuction, Tummy Tuck. 888.888NJPS newjerseyplasticsurgery.com." On it is a very blonde and athletic-looking woman in a white bikini, winter scarf, and one of those furry hats with the ear flaps. They're called Ushankas, apparently - I look it up when I get stuck in traffic. Derived from the Russian word ushi , which means ears. It's a strange combination, the bathing suit and the winter wear, but I guess that's how these ads get your attention. I'm driving home from my job at the New Jersey Division of Consumer Affairs. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is on. The contestant's doing pretty well, three for three so far. I look up and this woman in her Ushanka is giving me eyes. She looks pretty good, if I'm being honest, and I start thinking abou...
A fast-food addicted billionaire agrees to go to vegan boot camp to try to appease his mistress, but it's not what he expects. Image generated with OpenAI As a modern-day robber baron and corporate raider, I prided myself on not caring what other people thought, but my girlfriend, Wendy, was different. Therefore, I agreed to attend a local dietary self-help program in order to get back into her good graces as well as her bed. As a self-made billionaire, it's not like I couldn't find another attractive young partner; I easily could. What I feared most was that a breakup could signal the beginning of a losing streak - and I never lose at anything, ever. As an ultra-rich 53-year-old virile alpha male - blue pill notwithstanding - I had the world firmly by the ass, so the last thing I needed was for it to start shitting all over me. "My name is Rob, and I love fast-food, especially double cheeseburgers." After three meetings, this was the first time I ...
Comments
Post a Comment